barringtonlocal.com

This post is more anecdotal than it is statistical. A recent email I got from a client reminded me of a gender difference I consistently find among home-buying couples. Nine times out of ten, the wife is far more eager to buy a home than the husband.

To clarify, I am talking about move-up buyers, i.e., buyer-couples who already own a home but want to upgrade to a larger or more updated home. When I work with these buyers, I find that the wife is almost always one chapter ahead of her husband, or the husband is one chapter behind, depending on your perspective. Either way, they are not on the same page.

More often than not, the wife starts looking for homes a few months or a few weeks before the husband gives in to start looking. And even then, I frequently find that husband doesn’t want to explore new homes and neighborhoods. He prefers to be shown a few homes that are final candidates.

But, here is a crucial point: the men do become very excited about the final candidates. They spend a long time going over the homes and thinking about them. If they like a home, the husbands will become as invested as their wives about purchasing it.

In the end, when a couple finds a home that they both really love, they forget about the process and the timing and just focus on making an offer, getting through the home inspections, learning about the neighbors, et cetera. This latter stage is embraced equally by both parties.

Buying a second or third home takes a while. And, pressure is inherent to the process because most families plan to make their second or third home their forever home, i.e. the home in which they will raise their kids. The stakes are high. So, the fact that such a major decision has stress associated with it is not surprising.

I don’t find this gender difference to be a bad thing. I do, however, know that it can be a source of tension for couples. So, it is helpful for couples to understand that it is normal.

I do wonder why women and men approach buying a home with such different timing and different styles. I know in my own case, my husband had to be dragged to look at homes. He didn’t enjoy visiting new homes or neighborhoods at all. But he loves the home we finally bought and is very emotionally invested in it now that we’re settled.

Wow, home design is not easy. I’ve been back and forth to World Market four times this week trying to decide on some wall plaques. I’ve been to Crate & Barrel three times to drool over some soft leather chairs, and I’ve been on and off the internet looking for those same soft leather chairs at a better price (note: so far, no luck; I think you get what you pay for when it comes to leather).

I am not complaining, though. My husband was teasing me this evening that worrying over home decor is a pretty indulgent set of worries to have. He’s right, but I am finding that making a house a home does require some trouble.

I thought I would make a list of some of the things I’ve learned recently that might help others.

• I always worried I was too boring when it came to decor, but I don’t think that way anymore. When I get home from work, I want to be comfortable and relaxed, not challenged. I agree with designer Michael Smith who writes in his new book, Houses: “When I’m designing a living room, I naturally want to put a sofa against a wall and two chairs opposite it. Some designers might find that boring. The reality is, it’s soothing. Most people prefer it that way.”
• I use accent pieces to add flair. Here is where I let my creativity shine. A zebra-toned throw or a sequined pillow add novelty and fun without over-taxing my mind. Accent pieces and accent paint color can also be easily changed.
• I like World Market, Pier 1, and Ikea for small things. For larger items like furniture, I think they can be too trendy and I don’t like the quality.
• For furniture, I tend to prefer smaller boutique-like stores over large showrooms. For example, I’ve found better service and more interesting design at Deer Park’s Crate & Barrel than Woodfield’s Macy’s.
• I’ve gotten some great deals on-line, but I’ve learned to do my homework. I bought a beautiful leather chair from Target.com, but it was about 3/4 the size I had imagined it would be. A sense of proportion is key. I’ve also noticed it is difficult to get a true sense of color on-line.
• I recommend resisting the temptation to buy trinkets. Some people can pull this off, but they are the exception. The first thing a Realtor or stager edits out of a home going up for sale is all the little clutter that lines mantles, end tables, shelves and counter-tops. That being said, some artifacts have sentimental value or do add to a room. For example, I love family photos, and I love seeing other people’s family pictures, too.

The magazines I’m reading lately to help me with my little projects are House Beautiful and Metropolitan Home. Metropolitan Home is way edgier than I would naturally go in my home, but reading it keeps me thinking and opens up my mind to new design ideas. House Beautiful is full of great pictures, practical commentary, and it presents a variety of styles, which again stretches my mind.

Barrington Local was recognized this week by Agent Genius, the nationally renowned real estate magazine. We were listed as one of the premier local real estate websites, and we were the only site outside of Chicago recognized in all of Illinois. So, woo, woo!

I’ve been reading Agent Genius forever and have always wanted to make “the list,” so finding Barrington Local among the best and the brightest is a huge honor. Thank you Agent Genius!

To see the list of the “most sphered” on the national blogging scene, click on the button to the right. Or if you’re feeling a little lazy, just click here.

Remember when “multi-tasking” was a new word? It was new about a decade or two ago. It was a kind of executive-cool word. The concept has to do with being able to handle many tasks at once, juggle many projects, or respond to many business or life chores simultaneously. After much effort and stress over my inability to live up to the demands of this term, I’ve decided to reject multi-tasking altogether.

Sound bitter? I.e., just because you can’t do it, now you say it’s a bad idea. Well, that’s sort of true; o.k., no, it is true. I hate multi-tasking, and I never really could do it. But, there is an upside, a genuine upside to this frustration. I’ve realized I much prefer concentrating. When I concentrate I get more work done and I tend to enjoy my work more. I get into a state Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has termed “flow” –i.e., a pleasurable state of performing a task that stimulates you through challlenge yet calms you by a sense of competently meeting that challenge.

As much as is reasonable, I am indulging this kind of work and avoiding the chaos of answering calls, emailing, writing, negotiating, showing, staging, thinking and driving all at once. It is no way to work and no way to live. How did that ever become a good thing? How is ‘multi-tasking’ a talent and not a form of madness?

Here are some concrete forms of what I mean: I regularly turn off my phone. Now-a-days, most routine communication is via email, so phone communication is losing the importance it once had. I try to talk to my clients in person or through email. When we need to talk on the phone, we do, but I am much more nuanced and able to think and present material in person or in email. So, the phone is off unless I am expecting a call.

When I email, I email. When I write my blog, I write. When my husband and I eat dinner together, there is no electronic equipment anywhere in sight or earshot. When I’m out with my family or friends, I usually leave my phone at home. What? What kind of Realtor are you? What if . . . . . ? Those ‘what ifs’ drove me crazy. My clients are making large investments and thinking them through; they’re not in a rush and nothing is on the fly. All the important details of my transactions are worked out in person, not while I’m driving on the expressway or showing a listing. My clients want my full attention, so they’re fine with me calling them back, setting a date to meet, or corresponding via email.

I like this style of working better, and I find that clients and my family prefer it, too. I want people and moments and processes to matter. When I am out with clients, I am out with them, only them. I am not on the phone. I am present thinking about their needs and their hopes. Nobody likes being a ball in the air that you’re juggling. Sustained attention and focus is more relaxing, more intimate, more productive, and perhaps even more efficient. But, even if it isn’t, that’s o.k., it’s more human.

Eek! The ghosts of past sale prices are haunting the market. I’ve been working with several buyers lately, so I’ve been visiting dozens of homes a week. When a client is interested in a listing, I do a sort of ‘background check’ on the MLS to find out how long a home has been on the market, when it was last sold, and what it sold for. Well, lately I’ve been finding listing prices that are competitive with or less than sale prices of 2003 and 2004. If you’re trying to sell today and bought in the 2004-2007 time period, this is scary.

For areas like Arlington Heights that posted double-digit gains during the boom, buyers are finding that homes are affordable again, and great bargains are plentiful. A buyer-client of mine just purchased a condo in Arlington Heights for less than the 2003 sale price, and the home is in great shape, –and this is not a short sale, and not a foreclosure. This kind of deal is simply a result of downward pressure on pricing due to high inventory and stagnant sales.

In Barrington, clients just closed on new construction that sold for 93% of list. Discounts on new construction were unheard of during the boom years. The rate of building new homes in downtown Barrington seems to be slowing down, so this fall has been a rare mix of low prices and substantial but diminishing inventory. Buyers have been able to negotiate lower prices while still being able to choose from some beautiful homes. So as scary as it has been for sellers, buyers are getting some pretty tasty treats.

Lake County

To get us started: The number of days on the market for homes that sold in September in Lake County was up 67% over the number of days on the market for last September. Wow! No detailed interpretation is needed here; this is bad.

The number of homes sold was down 38% compared to September of last year. These kinds of steep declines have been the norm for this year (cf. Local Market Statistics & Analysis).

Cook County

The number of homes sold in Cook County in September was down 35% over September of last year. Again, this data is consistent with data from previous months in the year.

The average days on the market for homes that sold was up 41%. Interpretation: bad.

McHenry County

The number of sold homes was down 38% compared to last year. And, average days on market for sold homes was up 37%.

Price data for September and, actually, for the third quarter should be out any day now. I will post the info. as soon as it is available. For stats and facts guys and gals like myself, check out Trulia’s “Stats and Trends” pages. One of the most helpful features, particularly if you’re shopping for new construction, is the price per square foot information. Check it.

Do you know somebody who is always positive and upbeat? He has a “can-do” attitude about any challenge and is extremely concerned about your “negativity” if you raise doubts or concerns about a particular situation or proposition.

Maybe this person’s ultra-positive attitude defies reason. If they are a Realtor or lender, they always say the market is great. They have a cheer or saying they like to repeat, or worse, they email you motivational lectures or “inspiring stories.”

Yuck. . .

What about a balanced perspective? To me, there is something absurd about a one-dimensional response to the world that is simply that of an enthusiastic embrace. Isn’t life is a little more complex than that? My life is more complex than that.

So, why the rant? Why bring this up? Well, in the midst of this economic angst I found myself thinking about a lender I knew a few years back, a relentlessly cheery lender. My husband and I talked to him about a mortgage and he had “qualified” us for a price range that was way out of the realm of sense. Taking a mortgage for anything close to what he had recommended would have been irresponsible. At the time we had told him our concerns, and he responded that we were being negative and pessimistic about the future.

. . . and for a few days, I really did want to believe him. I wanted to “dream big” and “be positive.” I especially liked the idea that the morality of dreaming big and being positive might include a walk-out basement overlooking a lake, waterfall, and a large paver patio. If I were truly devout about my new found faith in optimism I had reasoned, maybe I could even push the thinking big envelope to include a new car along with the new house, maybe a tricked-out Hummer. . .

Optimism does have its enchantments. . .

Instead, my husband and I bought a home we could afford in a neighborhood we could afford. And, you know what, we’re pretty happy. We’re not “great” all the time or always smiling, but we laugh a lot and sleep well.

My manager sent me this quotation by William Ward. It addresses the same topic from a different angle, and I thought it was timely:

“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails”

I was out showing condos again this morning to an investor. I had mentioned earlier in the week that there are some excellent deals out there. To give you a sense of what I mean, consider this little slice of the market pie.

A condo in Arlington Heights that sold for $171,000 in 2005 is now listed at $129,900. The condo is vacant, and the listing agent says the seller is motivated. A motivated seller is typically willing to sell for less than the average sale-to-list percentage, which for Cook County has been around 95-96% of list this year. So, being conservative, let’s say the unit sells for 94% of list. That puts the sale price at $122,000. And, this home is not a foreclosure or short sale.

As fun as blogging is as a medium, there is a very basic if unspoken ethics out there that serious bloggers are quite earnest about. Consider the following.

1. Don’t copy. This is the capital crime of the blogosphere. My “favorite” is when people copy and paste from Wikipedia. It is always obvious and easy to verify. It is also probably illegal. It is also increeeeeedibly lame!
2. Write about your interpretations, opinions, ideas, observations, and understanding of a given topic. Blogging is akin to editorial writing. If you’re writing about your opinions, you are less likely to plagiarize because true opinions come from oneself, not another website.

. . . . Anyway, It is probably obvious by now that a kernel of corn is stuck between one of my teeth and my gums. That kernel happens to be a blog that has some content eerily similar to my own and some other content that is outrageously similar (i.e. almost exactly the same as) an entry in Wikipedia and some other easily located websites. Thanks to loyal reader Sue Williams for pointing this out to me. I wouldn’t have known otherwise.

Eek! and double UGH!

As you can tell, this gets to me. Does that kind of thing get to you? Copying is like cheating or cutting in line; it gets under my skin like a nasty bug bite. . . errrrrrrrrrrrrr.